This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I wish you could order shots online.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
