if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
