i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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