whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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