OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize