You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
