ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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