Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
