A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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