you guys were way drunker than both of me
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
