they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
whose parrot is this?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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