he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So much rum. So many feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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