I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
