you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
