Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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