perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
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i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
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Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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