im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
