Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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