Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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