i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
