ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
