So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
