I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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