question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
