I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
