high people should be assigned attendants
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
