I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
