She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Let's get the cat blown out
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
