he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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