help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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