Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
love makes seman taste better
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
