Yo dont text me then not text me
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
