there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!