hotel room ftw
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
