Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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