Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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