Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
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i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
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he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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