dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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