Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We have started to decorate penises.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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