So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
