You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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