I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You've changed since you got that strap on
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
