I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
