well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I have aggressive nipples.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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