Porn is love you can see.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
