it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize