I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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