Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize