It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
