idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
