I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
