I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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