she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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