I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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