normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
