I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
