Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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