I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
