no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The power of my boobs compel you
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
