I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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