Just fell off a train. Bad.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
