just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
