yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The uberlube is also flammable
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
