was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
